Jokes!

Hey, guys, This is a page for you to put up your jokes. Two rules. All jokes have to be G-PG rated, and all jokes must be funny! enjoy.

Two old guys, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, like they do every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball in heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol..." Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?" "Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost. Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in heaven?" "Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Sol. Abe says, "Well... there //is// baseball in heaven." Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?" Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday." Your mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles the cars start to slow down Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year.

Q: What is the first thing Goerge Washington said to is men before crossing the river? A: Get in the boat.
 * George Washington Jokes:**

Q: Where does Goerge Washington keep his armies? A: In his sleevies.

Q: What would you get if you crossed George Washington and cattle feed? A: The Fodder of our country.

Q: How did George Washington speak to his army? A: In general terms.

Q: Was General Washington a handsome man? A: Yes, he was George-eous.

Q: What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character? A: George Washingtoon.

Q: Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? A: Because he couldn't lie.

Q:What would George Washington be if he were alive today?
A:Really, really, really old

Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to? A: Oral.

Q: How old is your son - the one living with you. A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.

Q: Sir, what is your IQ? A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.

Once upon a time, Jack was driving down the highway. Speeding along, he was following a big, green semi-truck. But suddenly, the semitruck stops. Jack slams on the brakes, but it's too late. He rear ends the truck. Sitting there, breathing heavily, Jack watches as the driver steps out the front door. The man is short, with a long scraggly beard. In a fierce rage, he marches back to Jack. Jack rolls down the window and peeks out over the door. Looking up at Jack, the driver spoke. Driver: I'm not happy. Jack: Then which one are you?

Your Mother... (Yes, that is it)

Q: What did the sock say to the foot? A: You're putting me on. (It's so lame it's funny.)

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. they didnt drop a bomb on nagasaki, they dropped chuck norris. Chuck norris CAN believe its not butter. Chuck norris can crash a parked car. chuck norris is the reason why waldo is hiding. chuck norris counted to infinity.... twice. chuck norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. chuck norris CAN just eat one lays potato chip. Chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird. Chuck norris can divide by zero. A picture is worth a thousand words.... A chuck norris is worth a billion. In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, Chuck Norris came in and roundhouse kicked nothing's butt. and said get a job so it did and that how the universe was created Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps out gunpowder. Then, he makes a bullet with the gunpowder, which he uses to shoot a cow. He then uses the cow to make beef jerky. This is what Elton John calls "The Circle of Life." In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?" Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't feel pain. Pain feels Chuck Norris.

When I grow up, I wanna be a goose. Or a donkey. > O YA?! WELL WHEN I GROW UP I WANNA BE CHUCK NORRIS. TRY AND BEAT THAT!!! > oooooooooooooooo.... that's hard to beat Remember when it said jokes had to be funny? Yeah.......

Madison: Why didn't Washington's dad punish him when he chopped down the cherry tree? Franklin: Cuz George was still holding the ax.

Yo mamma's so fat, that when she learned to walk, the dinosaurs went extinct.

Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that walked into a bra?